Episode 999 Scott Adams: Totally Real Joe Biden Joins me For a Digital Town Hall. In His Mask.

Date: 2020-05-27 | Duration: 31:05

Topics

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Rough Transcript

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Transcript

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• Totally Real Joe Biden joins Scott for some malarkey

• Whiteboard: Orange Man Bad Because

• President Trump questions Joe Scarborough interns passing

• Twitter fact checks President Trump’s on mail-in ballot fraud

• Kudos Christian Cooper, he took things to the high ground

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[0:06]

all right hey this thing working this thing working I've been down that good what what how about now that good huh what what's your wait am I supposed to be looking Am I is the camera on are we good did we start oh hi hi uh-huh is this working this is working where do you put the phonograph in is this taping can I get it okay what's this dark we're starting now okay does this is this good is this good back further okay got it okay I think it's going well so far I'm totally real Jill Biden and you can

[1:10]

I'm totally real Jill Biden and you can tell that I'm totally real except possibly in the ear area is not so totally real but 98% of me especially in the forehead area a little bit of the bridge of the nose totally real now I only leave my basement for two reasons either to go to
either go to memorial dates observations cemeteries or to visit the cartoonist studio what do they have in common heroes heroes that's right I will only leave my basement for heroes and that's why I'm here today in the Dilber guys studio now let me tell you about this this guy this orange guy this president this I don't know I don't even want to use his name

[2:12]

use his name who is this guy anyway let me tell you about her music look he's a damn liar he's damn liar he needs to tell the truth don't take my word for it ask the n-double-a-cp they endorsed me seven hundred and fifty three times that's called leadership now like that other guy now since you brought it up I have never never never never never never never never never never never never taking the african-american vote for granted and you know that's real because of the number of times I said never a liar would have stopped at two maybe three Nevers but if you were paying attention I shot bass past three way past three

[3:12]

I shot bass past three way past three Nevers I was into I don't know man what ten maybe twelve million something like that I don't know somewhere in that area so let me tell you yes you know I'm always going to give it to you straight now like that time in the hallway sort of snuck up on it but that's a whole different situation allegedly now if you don't like Joe Biden I say first of all take a look at Joe Biden take a look at Joe Biden if you don't like what you see hopefully the other guy well please vote by mail that's all I'm going to ask don't ask me why just vote by mail but that doesn't matter who you vote for it really don't ask why and it's a pretty

[4:13]

really don't ask why and it's a pretty good system you better vote by mail otherwise the coverts given get you it's gonna get you so you better vote by mail it's a good system now the president needs to the lead he needs to listen to the scientist he needs to tell the truth I'm not going to stoop to his level instead I'm gonna make generic statements such as we have to prepare for the second wave a lot of people are unemployed folks last leadership that's the kind of generic statement that will make America very similar to how it was not great because that would be a little bit racist buts just sort okay you know not bothering anybody
well I'm let me give you some more valuable valuable policy advice where bass wash your hands see this is the

[5:15]

bass wash your hands see this is the kind of leadership that we need otherwise the whole country is going to go around with dirty hands what kind of world is that my god man what else will we stop washing if we stop washing our hands what's next Putin would love that wouldn't he oh he would he would anyway let me summarize with the list of all the things that's wrong with that man whose name I will not use who's occupying temporarily temporarily until I beat him like a drum the Oval Office these are all the reasons orange me in bed because number one the lollygagging I think you'd agree there was way too much lollygagging way too much there's a lot of tomfoolery the malarkey oh my Mara the malarkey the malarkey is out of control the fiddle faddle is through the roof number five

[6:16]

faddle is through the roof number five oh you know you know the thing and number six Camelot controls my food so I have to say whatever she wants I'm hearing a bell that means my food is ready I'd like to stay longer because you know I like to stay to the end I'm usually the last guy who leaves but if I don't go now I might not get to eat so I'm gonna have to excuse myself bye for now thanks for coming by Joe I really appreciate that okay all right yeah I hope I did a good job
job sorry I'll take over now yeah all right I'll see myself out yeah if you can find the door go down the stairs all right all right yeah so that's the door that's the bathroom this bathroom the other one down the stairs all right all right I got it yeah all right that was a nightmare

[7:18]

yeah all right that was a nightmare that guy that was a nightmare let's talk about all the things that are happening stock market's up right the stock market's way up property values or actually a little bit up I think I think we're on track for the biggest recovery ever if there's one thing that you need to understand about the economy it's that it's a self-fulfilling wish as long as you don't have any shortages and we don't have shortages so we can actually will ourselves into a better economy and we have the the very best president for that specific task xiu'er the president's done a few things this week that maybe even you wouldn't

[8:21]

this week that maybe even you wouldn't have done I think maybe in this political season he may have found a way to go a little bit too far in a few few items but who would you rather have as your president when you're trying to do a quick recovery he's sort of the perfect personality for that and if you look at the stock market it really looks like the people with money are buying into Trump's vision of a fairly speedy recovery so that parts looking good but we have to talk about
do you ever laugh at things you're not supposed to laugh at and then you feel bad about it as soon as you do I feel like I should change the subject now so you don't know what I was laughing about because I'll be a bad person can we do let's just stipulate them a bad person so we can just we can you just get to the topic but so so you know I always

[9:21]

the topic but so so you know I always tell you that Trump has a way of picking the only path that you didn't know was even a path you know if it looks like there are two choices well he's got to go this way I'm just gonna go that way there's only two choices and then suddenly you'll be like plowing through a wall and there'll be a whole new path that you didn't even know it was the path and and I think he did it again and I'm not necessarily in a way that you should be happy about but it's so quintessential so as you know he's the president accused is accusing via tweet joe scarborough of murder for the tragedy death of someone who worked in his office who by all credible accounts had some heart problem collapsed hit her head just an accident now it turns out and i didn't know this until just recently she was married and her her widow or widower yeah widower husband wrote a very well written and passion

[10:24]

wrote a very well written and passion letter to the president saying that he felt it was his duty to protect the the memory and sort of the reputation of his late wife as part of his commitment to the marriage which he considered to you know last beyond her passing now it was a really good letter in terms of having the emotion and the power and everything and all he asked he was asking i think he was asking you would he write into to twitter and he was asking that they just removed those tweets pretty reasonable thing to ask except it's the president and if the president says anything it's kind of part of the record it's really different and I don't think you can compare a federal or any politician really I don't think you can compare the politicians to the regular people I almost feel like

[11:25]

the regular people I almost feel like the politicians are the only ones who should never be able to delete anything you know you know maybe they can flag it as I didn't mean it or something but it seems like you should be able to just always go back and see the actual unfiltered record of a politician so that's independent of the question of whether the president should be using this particular topic as a club as effective as it might be and entertaining in its own way it is very unkind to these surviving family members yeah there's no way around that but so the president is at the doing his press conference today and of course he gets that question and and somebody asked had he seen the letter from the the widowed husband now I don't know if the president saw that letter but maybe the answer he gave was that third path like

[12:28]

answer he gave was that third path like through the wall because you thought at this point either you sort of had to apologize or say I didn't mean it but instead he goes right at it and he says well yeah I would think that all the family members would have some questions of their own and he goes and and he just completely commits to it now the thing that makes me laugh and I don't feel good about it all right don't be like me you're you're good people apparently I have low character because I can't stop laughing and how ridiculously audacious and inappropriate it is especially coming from the president yeah it would be terrible coming for anybody but when it comes from him it takes on this whole other meaning of course and but part of what makes it irresistible is that you know he doesn't mean it I mean you know that right you know that Trump doesn't mean a word

[13:29]

you know that Trump doesn't mean a word of it that he doesn't mean there's anything to the story and that's I think why he can get away with it because it's so transparently obviously he doesn't even believe it and it's just something to say to make people chase their tails and talk about and talk about how Joe Scarborough may or may not be a murderer it's just about the funniest prank I've ever seen anybody play in the history of the world except as a bad effect of the family which were not ignoring I apparently I'm just a bad person because it's still kind of funny that he's doing it at all so I'm not you know I know whenever I try to shave things to fine and I can say well I don't think I would have done it I wouldn't recommend he do it it feels like maybe that was too far and then I told myself

[14:30]

and then I told myself he's in this you know competition for the White House and literally everything that everybody says is a lie they've been you know the other side is accused of obeying every kind of a treasonous you know you a spy for Russia yeah and you know all the stories I don't have to repeat them but the things that Trump has been accused of that now we know are not to be true or insane and so when I see him recognize that the rules of the game the accepted rules the rules that we're all playing by apparently these are the rules is that you can say absolutely anything and you don't have to mean it you don't even have to believe it you just have to put it out there and and the fact that he's that he's he's going into a game in which you can just say anything so why would he say less than the most devastating thing he possibly say why

[15:31]

devastating thing he possibly say why would he possibly hold back there's no good reason for telling the truth in a presidential election because the other side isn't doing it and there's no hope that they would do it it's not like if you did it they would start doing it or something that's not gonna happen that's not even close to what's gonna happen basically whoever lies the best is gonna win so would you want would you want your team to lie in a less effective way I don't know there are a lot of moral questions involved in this and I don't think I'm the one to answer him because I can't stop laughing at the fact that he committed to such an outrageous and such an outrageous claim and he does it by saying well there are questions a lot of people are asking questions so he doesn't even say that he's asking questions he just says people are asking questions alright so again we we can't be happy about it but as long as he's in the game

[16:34]

about it but as long as he's in the game in which you can say absolutely any lie I don't know if you can pick one out and say that's the bad one I mean that's that's a shaving a pretty fine eye so one of the things that I think Trump is doing exactly right is saying that he'll override the governor's if they don't let the churches reopen now of course every state is going to make you some decisions and it's not like there's one right time for churches to open and it's not as if there's one right way to do it or anything like that so it's a very generic statement the president is making you know open those churches but it's insanely correct and and his instincts as a politician are just uncanny sometimes because I think the experts are you are unified in saying the Trump doesn't have any such power right

[17:36]

in fact check me on this is it not true that the experts are saying that the president does not have the power to order churches open if the states have them temporarily closed for health reasons now I don't know if it's true or not I don't know if this Supreme Court would get involved I don't know but I do know it doesn't matter if you think it matters that the president has those defined powers it does not it does not because first of all the the churches are going to open up these synagogues the mosques they will open so whether it's this week or next week it's not like it's not going to happen so the president is clearly on the side of the people all the people because you know even people who don't go to church would probably like to see things get back to normal so it's it's a very you know populous smart smart position to take but he takes the strongest possible position which is that he would go all dictator

[18:38]

which is that he would go all dictator basically I don't know what it would take to override the the states and open up those places of worship and I thought I don't know well how exactly would he do that it wouldn't really happen in the real world there would just be a conversation right in the real world it would just be a conversation and they would figure it out and in the end the president would say well I wish you'd done it sooner and they'd say we're doing the best we can here's my data you know just working out but it's really smart politically for him to make that claim that he's going to make it happen and he'll make it happen for all the denominations and he's very clear about you know making sure everybody's included he also they announced some kind of insulin drug cost reduction that's kind of a big deal if if I'm reading it right I guess you have to wait for the next day to see if the

[19:38]

to wait for the next day to see if the experts weigh in and tell us everything really changed because you know you can't really you don't really know when you're first here are these things somebody could come in and say well that went down but something else went up so it's not what it looks like but on the surface it looks like this is some really good deal that the government has worked out to lower the insulin costs for lots of people and there's some hope that whatever model they used to do that could be reproduced so will we be seeing a 2021 in which there are telehealth doctors who are so cheap that lowers healthcare costs at the same time that there's some new kind of negotiating process other than what it is for at lowering drug costs at least for some portion of the public maybe maybe the Trump administration is sort of moving toward at least doing something on health care that looks productive so the

[20:39]

health care that looks productive so the big story of course oh did you hear that so Biden did this interview with Dana Bash I guess and he said all this stuff about Biden's hiden but it's working pretty well so to hear Joe Biden used the term Biden hidin it made me laugh because I was thinking to myself how many people had the same idea of Biden hidin because I know you know I I know I tried to be the first to invent it but I think maybe somebody beat me to the hash tag or something so but I think I was at least one of the people who helped popularize it among others and and so to hear the candidate himself say Biden hidin and to feel like you know collectively it felt like we were part of that if it just made the world seem kind of small for a minute all right so the big story of course what you want to talk about is the president ahead as tweet fact-checked by Twitter so Jack

[21:42]

tweet fact-checked by Twitter so Jack Jack Dorsey must be having the world's strangest day because you know first of all there's that whole story about the the Scarborough situation you know that that ends up being a Twitter problem because it's all about the tweet take it down or not so suddenly Jack Dorsey wakes up and he's in the middle of you know the biggest story in the country and then and but it turns out his day wasn't over so and then Twitter of fact checks the president on a couple of tweets he did recently about what he thought was the opportunity for fraud with mail-in ballots now I don't know if everything he said about it was what they were fact-checking or there were some parts or parts part or parts that were especially grievous you know but that but the rest of it might have been semi okay I don't know exactly what was wrong with it but they put a tag on it to say go look at the truth basically and you

[22:44]

go look at the truth basically and you could go look at news articles from those CNN and other places so you can imagine how Twitter let's say conservative and Republican Twitter took this news that that Twitter corporate was putting fact-checking tags on the president when I think everybody who supports the president probably probably close to a hundred percent of the people who support the president also believe that mail-in ballots have a little extra exposure to risk now none of us are experts on that and it's got to be different for different states and I know we've been using it forever and there are probably ways to make sure it doesn't happen and blah blah blah but in your in your your let's say you're experienced mind when you just think about the world and all the things you've seen in the world and all the

[23:46]

you've seen in the world and all the ways that people can find and cheat even when you don't think they can whenever you've got this situation where you have a really big upside game have you ever heard me say this viewer you have a really big upside to gain and almost no chance of getting in trouble and a lot of people are involved so it's not up to just one person to have a good to be a good person and not do the crime if a lot of people are involved somebody's going to do the crime so the mail-in ballots sort of a you know add an extra exposure to something that is almost guaranteed to produce fraud I would say guaranteed wouldn't you it is closer to guaranteed than it is to zero now the question is how much yeah and now some of the techniques are actually legal I think ballot harvesting is legal in some states right so it could

[24:50]

in some states right so it could certainly have an effect on the election so we don't know yet to how deep this Twitter of fact-checking the situation is going to go well will they do this for the all of the president's tweets will they do it for other blue check people and non blue check people how much of this is we going to see it was this sort of a trial balloon so again the two biggest stories in the country they both came back to the Jack Dorsey's doorstep and I cared about his world must have like shrunk to the size of a marble like it suddenly the everything in the world just is connected to him personally that's got to be the weirdest feeling all right let me give you the the most optimistic thing I've heard today you ready I want to make sure that

[25:51]

today you ready I want to make sure that you you go to bed on positive thought so this is gonna be a really positive thought seriously I think you'll like it just a really good feel good positive thought so you know as you know the story about was an Amy Cooper and no relationship to Christian Cooper the other altercation in the Park Central Park she had a dog she called the police and told the police there's an african-american man threatening me which sounded kinda racist to anybody who saw it we don't know what happened before that what was going on but certainly the african-american part seemed gratuitous and why did you throw that in there so she of course the internet blew up on her she apologized she lost her dog anybody who saw the video probably

[26:52]

anybody who saw the video probably thinks maybe that was okay because she wasn't quite handling that dog right and then she got fired she actually lost her job so she lost her dog her reputation and her job in 24 hours basically now the guy that she had the interaction with this Christian Cooper apparently he was a bird bird watcher and he would often go to that place the brambles or whatever was called and when he found out that she had you know lost her job and her basically her whole life was torn apart this is why he said so here's his quote he said if our goal is to change the underlying factors I'm not sure that this young woman having her life completely torn apart serves that goal there you go so here was a guy who you know he was part of this big story

[27:52]

you know he was part of this big story he had by all the rules of the game you know the rules of social media of the rules of how we identify and treat each other and you know try to tear each other apart but by all the rules this fellow Christian Cooper had a right to be angry and he had a right to be a little bit of vindictive and I turns out I think he was a Harvard Graduate so he's somebody who's you know at least some parts of his life had going pretty well if you went to Harvard and you can spend some time bird-watching in Central Park things must be a little bit okay so Chris you know Cooper had every reason to be after the fact right I'm not even gonna make an opinion about the interaction the interaction itself you saw it you be the judge I'm not going to help you make a decision about who was right or wrong but after the fact separate from the

[28:54]

but after the fact separate from the interaction that you can judge separately Cristian Cooper took it to the high ground he took it to the high ground so thank you I would just say thank you now if you wanted to really take it to the high ground if you really wanted to take it home really just make something better turn on turn a bad into a good he should call her employer and ask them personally to rehire her now how much would you love that because we know that this Christian Cooper guy yeah you may it was a little particular about what was happening in the park and maybe you wouldn't handle things that way and that that would be a you know a legitimate opinion if he disagreed with the way he handled it but I don't think you can disagree with the fact that he's not comfortable with the fact that this

[29:54]

not comfortable with the fact that this interaction blew up her life and I would say that this should be rewarded in terms of like a role model so it turns out that you know there was there was at least one person here who had a very reasonable opinion about this and while he's under no obligation to do it the coolest way the story could end is if he called her employer and said you know I'm not I'm not excusing anything she did I'm just saying punishment didn't fit the crime how about we just learned something to move on it would be so awesome that it would be just a wonderful thing I want to leave you on that thought that there was this one reasonable person doing a reasonable thing at least at this point in time yeah I hear we say the dog stuff was disturbing but I also she clearly was not a dog owner so there

[30:55]

she clearly was not a dog owner so there is more to this going on anyway that's the that's all I've got for today and I will talk to you in the morning