Episode 921 Scott Adams: I Predict the Future of the Pandemic Using the Dark Art of Bocce and Bottle

Date: 2020-04-18 | Duration: 8:03

Topics

My new book LOSERTHINK, available now on Amazon https://tinyurl.com/rqmjc2a Content: I predict the future of the pandemic using the dark art of bocce and a water bottle.

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> [!note] Rough Transcript
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## Transcript

[0:09]

so today we're going to predict what happens with the pandemic using bocce balls now if you're new to this it's based on the scientific principle that all things can be predicted by rolling a hard ball at a plastic water bottle I think it was Aristotle who came up with this first I don't remember right then but we get all set up here and as you can see that where perhaps you can't weigh down there is a water bottle that water bottle is very far away if I can hit that water bottle over then everything will be good so there's a lot riding on this there's the first ball oh no we might be in trouble this

[1:12]

oh no we might be in trouble this pandemic might last longer than I expected I've got a few more balls though there are eight of them seven more tries to end the pandemic it's all riding on this but this lame-ass that wouldn't that's that's not gonna get it done all right I'm gonna back up just to make it interesting
mmm here we go let's send that pandemic come on come on Oh very close all right this ball this ball says we're all going back to work on May 15th ready oh no oh well it's not May 15th I've got a few balls left I don't know folks sometimes fate can be

[2:17]

I don't know folks sometimes fate can be cruel I need for it to come down to the last ball here we go fingers crossed
all right there are only three balls left to end the pandemic because as you know the simulation is all wired together probably doesn't seem like bocce and a water bottle would be connected in any way to a pandemic but you'd be wrong oh no not even close well do two balls left and this pandemic isn't gonna end itself so there's a lot riding on this one one more after this to end the pandemic I have to hit the water bottle possibly possibly oh so

[3:22]

water bottle possibly possibly oh so close well people it's come down to this [Music]
now whoops hold on I know what you're thinking you're thinking Scott we can't take this chance and this is where the rules of bocce come in really important because it turns out
fortune-telling bocce you can really play any way you want so there's your pandemic right there take that all right cheating no that's not cheating that's fortune-telling it's so different

[4:23]

well I'm not gonna take a chance on the pandemic are you kidding me
we'll take a walk in the backyard mm-hmm I'm gonna take you through the the underbrush you ready I lost my dog Snickers Snickers all right let's go

[5:28]

was that exciting sometimes the dog hides them here Snickers or sometimes over here if you see any dog in this picture oh there are signs of a dog around here somewhere that did not get there by itself
[Music] we have the bait and it worked oh great take the ball and hide it in the bushes again that's exactly what I was hoping you would do now I wasn't playing fetch I just saw you that ball so that you could run into the underbrush never to be seen again okay you could actually

[6:34]

be seen again okay you could actually hear the airplane I will find her we're going Oh
spotted she thinks she's get away but we're gonna follow her wherever she goes turns out I've got black pipe back here though didn't know I had dear God don't let any sorry I didn't mean for you to see this I was expecting to be some dead bodies back here that is the Livermore Airport you are correct I think the neighbors are in their backyard it's just their family said they're still separating there we go alright that's enough for now I just wanted to tell the future with

[7:34]

I just wanted to tell the future with Bochy stickers stay good girl stickers come that's a good girl all right roll over roll it none of this is working okay I think we're done here all right well it was good seeing you all and I'll talk to you tonight