Episode 894 Scott Adams: I Demonstrate a New Sport I Invented Called Castleball
Date: 2020-04-05 | Duration: 9:40
Topics
Castleball, a new sport I just invented
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## Transcript
[0:05]
bum bum bum bum bum bum hey everybody come on in I'm going to show you my new sport that I just invented I think it'll sweep the world as soon as we're allowed to go outside and socialize with other human beings it's going to be big and it started with the observation that most sports are broken for example tennis used to be fun and then the rackets got really good and now if you play somebody who can serve you can't really return the serve because the equipment got so good that even an average player can hit the ball so hard that the game is ruined basketball is kind of ruined because if you play with tall people well it's not really house not really any fun baseball is no fun because our attention span is is much too small now sitting through an entire baseball game or half the time you're just waiting for something to happen even if you're in the game you're just standing there waiting no that does not
[1:07]
standing there waiting no that does not kind of soccer soccer can be pretty good but you get all kinds of rules like Anna bones and offsides and you need a certain number of people if you want to do it right so you need a sport where you can't get hurt anybody can play it all the time doesn't matter if there's a big difference in your skill level and it's just something you can do anywhere anytime at any level without too much rules too many rules and without too many problems so here's the game I invented it's called Castle ball so you see behind me there's a little structure that I put together using cones so I'm using the orange cones and build a little castle so that's the castle you would use any kind of ball I prefer one that's not inflated too much and that too allows people to play without getting hurt because if you've ever been the hit in the face with a fully
[2:09]
the hit in the face with a fully inflated soccer ball a high speed oh it hurts it hurts let me tell you the story a true story about why you don't want to play with the fully inflated soccer ball if you're playing with people of different levels you can get into a problem if everybody's the same level that doesn't matter but I joined an indoor soccer league several years ago and it was a co-ed and they were both so there were boys and girls and one of the people that I was playing against that one day was a one of the spouses who was not a soccer player she was not really big into sports but because her husband liked the head and she wanted to be you know part of the fun she was a good sport she said Cheryl I'll play so I was on the other team and the the ball rolled to me and I was going to clear the ball by by kicking it as hard as I could in the general other direction
[3:10]
could in the general other direction toward the goal now that was a good plan except for the part where she was standing about 20 feet away and I put the full force of my kick into it and I hit her square in the face and she went Pope it was stunned for a moment and it was you know trying to catch her balance but the ball hit her in the face and came directly back to me twenty feet away I hit her so hard that it bounced you know all the way back right to my feet and of course not much had changed so I thought to myself well you know I can't really go back in time I can't unhit tour in the face that's sort of done and it looks like she'll live so I'm just gonna make the same play I'll hit her it I'll kick it as hard as I can in that general direction which is what I did now you're probably a little bit ahead of me on the story here yes it hindered directly in the face boom a second time
[4:11]
directly in the face boom a second time I believe that's the last time she ever played soccer now my point is I was fairly experienced as soccer and could kick the hell out of the ball and she was a beginner and we should not have been playing the same sport all right if she had been a better player she would then get gotten out of the way if I had been a worse player and when some cake that that hard everything would have been fine so to compensate you play with a really soft ball because not only is it easier to control because it's not bouncing wildly sort of sort of dead so even a beginner can can control a ball and stop it and you know trap it and stuff it's pretty easy so you could use a regular ball actus or soccer ball that's under inflated by the way which is common for indoor soccer it's not unusual to under inflate the ball for indoor soccer that's that's common but not everybody likes it now here's how you play you notice that I've set it away from the wall a little bit you
[5:13]
away from the wall a little bit you don't want it against the wall because then people can just stand in front of it and prevent you from hitting it which is the point of the game so the point of the game is that there would be two castles and you would be protecting your castle while trying to destroy the other castle using a soccer like game to do it now you could also have two balls or three balls so the beauty of this game is you could just add extra balls until everybody has something to do because there's nothing worse than a game where somebody's standing in right field just waiting for something and nothing happens so you have as many balls as you have number of people you could have as many people on the side as you want as long as it's roughly the same or at least roughly the same in talent it doesn't have to be the same number so I've I've taken it away from the wall so you always have the option of hitting the wall and then hitting it back on the on the on the rebound so the the point of it is that you want to knock it out
[6:14]
of it is that you want to knock it out all of the cones on the other team before they knock down all of the cones on your side so if I hit it once and don't knock them all over the game is still on so it's it's not over until each of the cones is down and you could make the castle as big as you want or as small as you want and here's the other thing there's no ant about in castle ball because I made it up myself I'm solving the problems that I hate about other sports you know the boring parts were you waiting for somebody to throw it in bounds with castle ball there's no out of bounds everything's in bounds but if you have spectators here's the special part if there are spectators they're part of the field and the spectator can hit the ball once to knock you back in bounds if it's going on abounds where the spectator is so even the spectators are part of the game so long as they don't trap the ball and keep it they have to kick it toward the field the first time they touch it so if they're on your side they might
[7:15]
so if they're on your side they might try to do something clever but they can't be too clever because they have to just kick it once and then they're done with it so yes it's a spectator participation somebody says are you high not yet but the the day is early so I'm going to show you a little demonstration I'll take my microphone off so you won't be able to hear me but I'll show you how much fun it is to destroy that group of cones over there now part of the fun is that kids enjoy destroying stuff so it's not just that you're scoring a goal you're knocking the hell out of it and you're destroying something that somebody created and I got to tell you it's more fun especially if it's something that the other team created not you know knocking their structure down there's a little extra fun admit it all right so somebody asks where I am I'm in my house I should admit that I built my house I designed it myself and
[8:17]
built my house I designed it myself and I built it with the thought that if some day I'm ever on house arrest that I have to spend like a year in my own house I'm gonna make a house that I don't want to leave for a year so I'm not exactly suffering through the the shutdown here the quarantine except that I have no you know human contact which of course is pretty tough but in terms of physic physical surroundings pretty good it's pretty good I can I can't deny it all right I'm gonna put the microphone down I'm going to show you the of knocking that thing down don't laugh if it takes me a few times to hit it okay
[9:25]
well you get the and so I think you got the idea yes no hands no hands and so this is soccer like game but it fixes all the problems with soccer because soccer is no fun if you have different levels this fixes that it's no fun if you have to