Episode 820 Scott Adams: Valentines Whiteboard Lesson on Winning Versus Losing Frames

Date: 2020-02-14 | Duration: 9:59

Topics

My new book LOSERTHINK, available now on Amazon https://tinyurl.com/rqmjc2a

The losing way to look at the world
versus
The winning way to look at the world

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Rough Transcript

This is an auto-generated transcript and may contain errors.

Transcript

[0:09]

hey everybody it’s a very special single topic periscope today I get away for a thousand people to jump in and then we’re gonna jump right into it it’s gonna be short there will be no simultaneous sip we already did that today it’s gonna be on one topic and this topic will change the lives of some of you others of you will say I kind of knew that but it will give you a new way to package it so you can convince other people maybe change somebody else’s life by using this communication method so this is about the losing way to look at the world versus the winning way to look at the world this is something I’ve noticed over my lifetime that people who are having a tough time making it in this world have very similar thinking patterns and the people who are doing great have also very similar but different thinking patterns from the people who are not doing so well and I want to show you those so you can choose the one that

[1:09]

those so you can choose the one that works for you let’s start with the loser frame this is a unproductive way of looking at the world it doesn’t mean that the people who think this way are losers it does mean that the technique is not a winning technique and it goes like this this is one way of looking at the world there are people in the world who are continually doing stuff you don’t like and those people are having a big effect on you they’re making your brain register all this stress and then your brain is sending that stress into your body and it’s making you feel bad in a variety of ways it’s making you sick and unhappy and lose sleep and everything else this rest does and then all of that is of course going back into your brain figuratively or at least conceptually you could think of it as a loop in which it just makes you sad now how do you fix this situation if that’s how you see the world it’s tough the only thing you can do is wait for other people to act

[2:11]

do is wait for other people to act different than normal people that’s it your only hope of getting out of this is if other people stop acting like regular human beings all of a sudden because they’re acting like normal people it’s not really reasonable to act to expect that they will just stop acting that way so here’s a permanent losing framework if you see the world like this you see yourself as a victim of these other people who just don’t seem to change so what’s the productive way to look at this well without changing any facts in the world without making anything different about what you perceive here’s the way winners look at the world and it’s pretty consistent I think you’ll notice that the winners will often think this way it goes like this the way winners think is that your brain has different parts and again this is conceptual I’m not saying everybody who

[3:11]

conceptual I’m not saying everybody who does well in life thinks of it exactly this way but once you see and I think you look great but we have this little executive decision part of our brain just a small part that can make rational decisions for example that part of your brain could say I’d better go to college I’d better learn a skill just a rational decision this bar says I hear it’s good to go to the gym so I’ll build that into my schedule rational decisions we’re not rational species this big part of your brain is doing a whole bunch of irrational stuff but still there is a little part of our brain that can make perfectly rational decisions about the easy stuff do I go to the gym what kind of a diet do I have you know the things that take care of yourself now let’s say you make good executive decisions you do the things that people through the centuries know work increasing your talents tack works every time learning works basically every time being nice to

[4:12]

works basically every time being nice to people having good manners staying out of jail they’re easy logical things that you can make your body do you can make your body not pick up that piece of cake and instead you can make your body pick up up softer that’s a little healthier for you you can make your body have the right body language so people appreciate you as cetera under this model you make these little executive decisions about what your body will be doing now that includes your mind and includes what you say I’m not talking about literally just your arms and legs I’m talking about going to school I’m talking about you know driving across town if it makes sense to do that all the things that your body does and in this model everything you do influences other people do you notice how this is the reverse of the loser opinion and the loser framework other people are the cause of all your problems and this framework you’re making decisions your body is going out and doing things and

[5:13]

body is going out and doing things and you are the one influencing other people the way they treat you is an outcome of your executive too soon and what you did let’s say your executive decision was to go to school and get a degree does that affect other people absolutely those other people now who feel differently about you they act differently they offer you jobs if you tell your body to act polite even when you’re not feeling polite does that affect other people absolutely other people were responding to your politeness usually with politeness they will like you better et cetera if you tell your body to show interest in people even if you don’t really feel it so you asked them about themselves you listen you’re a good listener does that affect other people absolutely if you act like a good listener even if you’re not feeling it but if you act like it if you get your arms and legs of mouth to be a good listener these people will be influenced they’ll say I like that person good

[6:14]

they’ll say I like that person good listener cares about people with empathy I think that would be a good manager somebody I want to meet with etc now in this model if you your executive decision moves your body your body influences other people both the things that your body doing is doing and the things that other people are responding with are making you happy in this model you are controlling the entire flow now does that mean that the loser for a is a hundred percent debunked no they both run at the same time it is true that other people are just doing stuff that’s making you unhappy I can’t change that but you can understand your world differently and take control if you understand that your executive decisions that move your body are what is programming other people at least the other people that are affected by you directly you’re programming those people and that programming is the thing that makes you happy because they are loving you they are hiring you that are giving you raises they’re saying good things about you they’re becoming your friends

[7:15]

about you they’re becoming your friends or doing your favors and it’s all because they’re getting something out of it they’re not doing it because they’re good people although some might be they’re doing it because you programmed them you programmed them by the way you act that is the winning frame now you’re probably thinking to yourself are you who do you know who has the winning frame versus the losing frame and this is a sort of lesson that is going to become more profound as you think about it it the more you think about it you’re going to start noticing people the people who just can’t figure out how to make it in life are all the people who think they’re victims of what other people are doing the moment you can reframe that as you you are programming other people which by the way is a different way of explaining the Dale Carnegie method there’s a reason that Dale Carnegie has been a best-selling book for how many decades decades after decades it’s

[8:18]

decades decades after decades it’s because it works and the Dale Carnegie effect the Dale Carnegie gave nothing among other things it teaches a wide variety of things but one of the things that I find most important is that you learn that you are the the agent of reprogramming your environment people will respond to you based on what you do so you were programming them all the time if you allow them to program you they will they will they’ll fill in the blank if you’re not programming the people around you they will program you guaranteed so you only have those two choices get programmed and have no control over your life or become the programmer somebody that somebody in the comments is saying hello Jordan Peterson I would contend I have an urge or Demeter s’en say this exactly but I’m pretty sure it’s compatible with the things he says you will notice that all the people that you recognize good at this stuff meaning good at understanding strategies

[9:19]

meaning good at understanding strategies for being successful I would I would be willing to bet that a hundred percent are compatible with what I just said probably every person who really gets it probably every person who does that remain a billion dollars understands that they are the agents programming other people as soon as you think it’s the other way around that’s what’s going to happen its self-fulfilling so yes I think you’ll see this quite a bit I thought I would put this in one crisp little video and I’m gonna end it right here but I hope that was helpful and happy Valentine’s Day