Episode 366 Scott Adams: Wears a Pope Hat and Evaluates the Morality of Your Walls

Date: 2019-01-08 | Duration: 13:03

Topics

Pope Scott the Last, speaks out on the morality of walls

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> [!note] Rough Transcript
> 
> This is an auto-generated transcript and may contain errors.

## Transcript

[0:15]

bless you come in children I'm here to make some judgments on the morality of your walls now until recently many of you did not know that walls could have a moral Dimension oh how little you know how much I will teach you you've come to learn and I appreciate that about you bless you you blur now I'm going to show you a variety of walls and I'd like to teach you how to recognize an immoral wall from a moral wall so we'll we'll start with the bad news first uh I'm going to show you a picture of
of what I think is an an immoral wall so this is from Google images and as you can see there's a demon the demon is actually visible if

[1:16]

demon the demon is actually visible if you have been praying some of you perhaps you can't even see it but there's a there's a demon actually in the wall that's an immoral wall That's not the wall you want let's look look at some others here's a wall obviously another bad wall um this this nice lady is yelling at the wall you don't you don't yell at a moral wall do you you do not so that's an immoral wall right there let's see some
more oh yeah there's more oh no this this is one of the worst this one actually shows a demon completely outside the wall and probably ready to attack the citizens of this defenseless country with I don't know it could

[2:18]

with I don't know it could be Twitter insults possibly nicknames the worst of the Demons can go pretty deep let's check another wall try to find one that's more moral okay here's here's a wall that's pink and um I think you know pink is just automatically moral because if you've ever been robbed or beaten or had any kind of a horrible crime committed against you was the perpetrator wearing pink was there any pink involved when you were being accosted and a crime was being committed against you no no it was not so when you see a pink wall that's a moral wall nothing bad is going to happen around that that wall there now well here's here's one okay

[3:21]

there now well here's here's one okay here's a wall made entirely of donuts now again that's a good wall right that's a wall you can you can take your children to this wall but don't let them eat the wall it's a this is a wholesome wall if you don't mind dying of diabetes um some more walls let's see uh gosh these are just horrible horrible walls they're oh here we go here's here's an whole Army whoops
here's a whole Army of evil walls it appears that they're massing at the border each of these walls individually is plenty evil but when they get together like this and they start hunting as a pack well then you got some real real trouble oh but it looks like there could

[4:23]

looks like there could be possibly an angel that got in here I don't know if you can see it but one of those walls is not like the other you know it looks like a wall with a butt do you see the wall that has a large buttox well you're disgusting if that's what you say because that's actually the shape of a church pew so that one that one is not a demon that's an impostor so let me show you the best way to have a moral wall and we're going to go to the Whiteboard for
for this for this tutorial um here we have a holy wall you can see that there's a wall and then a little bit of wall and then you've got some more wall over here but here's the key point and if you don't if you don't have this in your wall you've got an evil wall you've got a wall

[5:24]

got an evil wall you've got a wall that's just stopping people from getting to the other side that's like totally evil so instead you want a a hole every now and then you don't want people to have to walk along ways you know one of the ways you could get this wrong is if this hole and this hole were like miles apart people would have to walk for miles to get through the hole well that's not very moral is it is that nice is that nice when people come to your house do you say oh come on in the house oh no not through the front door climb up on the roof and crawl down my chimney well that wouldn't be very moral so you don't want your your holes in your wall to be too far away and here's another wall see I've I've labeled it for you so this is a holy wall and that's very extremely moral now people have asked me some specific questions about wall morality which

[6:25]

questions about wall morality which oddly enough is my exact expertise um you know I I don't know much about Electronics couldn't tell you what star system is up there but I can tell you the morality of a wall like nobody's business you don't get this hat without being able to do that unless you just order it from Amazon like I did now some people ask me Scott where's the holy water to which I say right here and I invite you now to join me in the sacrament that I call coffee but you might call coffee or tea or some other beverage and you will join me now for the simultaneous popat [Music]

[7:27]

[Music] sip now one of the question questions that people ask me is since Nancy Pelosi was the one who started asking about whether walls are moral or immoral and in what condition are they moral and of course it's a delicate balance because she's in favor of Steel like barriers that prevent people from crossing the border easily but apparently those are the moral kind of laws the immoral kind of walls that President Trump has suggested she has poo pooed she is poo pooed did I say and so people say is she a hypocrite Pope Scott because she has a wall around her own home in San Francisco an actual wall is her wall immoral or moral well I have a ruling for

[8:28]

moral well I have a ruling for you in order to answer that question I stopped by her home I couldn't get inside but you know obviously there was a wall there so I couldn't get that close but I only came to see the wall and I was just judging the wall I you know wasn't going to judge her interior decorating I was there for the wall so it was okay I was on the sidewalk and I've been traveling for a few hours to get there to the city and I hadn't used the restroom and well here's the thing a lot of people don't know this but holy water has more than one let's say type anything that I put into my body especially coffee is holy water but what you don't realize is that after it passes through my body still holy water if it goes in as holy water and it goes through my Pope

[9:30]

holy water and it goes through my Pope body well it's not getting less holy is it goes in holy comes out holy well let me just skip to the end of the story so Nancy P's wall uh has been blessed with holy
water and that should tell you it's as holy as it could possibly get not really I wouldn't drive all the way to San Francisco but it's a funny story and I made you imagine it was it immoral of me to make you imagine that I was blessing her wall with holy water a little bit maybe a little bit but Nancy Pelosi's wall I approve of it is blessed it is now holy and if you have any other walls that you would like me to evaluate I believe I could do that um the the general

[10:30]

that um the the general General ranking is a good solid wall that people can't get over around totally immoral a good solid fence the type that we have for much of the Border already and Democrats and Republicans have both approved multiple times Well people can kind of get over those if they need to so I'm going to say that those are half holy those are are slightly immoral and then there complete Open Spaces with no fence and no wall and the only thing stopping you from coming to the country is being uh killed on the way totally moral as long as people are dying in the desert from their own decision and it wasn't the wall that killed them but rather it was them going around the wall I suppose still okay so on the Nancy

[11:34]

I suppose still okay so on the Nancy Pelosi scale of wall morality the most immoral laws are the ones that stop people and keep them safe the walls that are really immoral are the ones that don't work and invite people to come and risk their lives and their health to get here
all right I think I've said it all I will be watching with you tonight when the president does his address I've never been so excited about a presidential anything until this until this President turned the entire entire country into a reality TV show and we're all actors in it so this is a whole different experience I cannot wait to watch how all the apparently the news networks have decided that they're going to treat the president like a big liar and then try

[12:36]

president like a big liar and then try to and try to not report it as news and I think they're walking into a little trap there because because it sort of opens the question what is fake news and uh for that and many other reasons I'll be watching tonight and uh I'll be thinking of you bless you Blum